April #ReaLife 2016: Pain and Loss

There are countless movies out there that deal with immortality. And I cannot really blame them for coming up with such a concept because if we were all immortal, we wouldn’t have to deal with pain and loss (but we would probably be dealing with many other problems!).

But we cannot be immortal, so we have to learn to accept that in some ways, our lives are at the hands of Fate.

Junior year, I learnt that a good friend of mine had passed away. 

There are always days in your life that you remember vividly, and for me, that day was one of the days I remember vividly.

I was studying for an upcoming final exam and I had pressure from my family to do really well so I can apply to some good colleges.

But obviously I was on Facebook procrastinating and I got her message and her news.

I cried.

He was one of my best friends, and I loved him like a brother. I began to flashback to all the good times we had, including the first time we met.

You know how I said there will always be those important dates you remember? Well, one of the important dates in my life also includes him entering it. Because I had just moved to a new school, and I gave up making friends. He was the first one that approached me, and from there, he introduced me to all his friends. I knew he was the social one, the one that would keep the group together.

His laughter and smile always shined, even in the most darkest and boring places.

It’s been a good three years since I’ve received that news, and I am still struggling with the news.

And I have certain ways I did to not dwell on the sadness. But let me put it out there that there is no method to forget that pain. It will come back.

But when I got that news, I just dove right into work. I did still have an exam. I studied, did homework, and just tried not to think about it too much.

And in the first year, I thought about him a lot. But not in a sad way, but in a good way. Let me explain: I remembered all the good times we had, the happiness we shared. Losing someone you care about is hard, but what’s harder is remember his/her good and not dwelling on the fact that they have gone.

And knowing him, I knew he would want me to be happy, to live my life. And I have. I have lived my life to the fullest I can at this very moment, and in a way, I have him to thank for it. He showed me how precious life truly is, and how quick life can be taken away from you.

In my mind, he will forever be one of my guardian angel’s. He was that kind of a person. And every time the sun is shining and the sky is as blue as it can be, I say hello to him and pray that he is having a blast up there. Because he deserved it.

Losing someone doesn’t mean you have to forget them. It means you got to learn to live with those memories, both good and bad, and remember them through the experiences you have been through together.

I am not writing this post as things to do when you have lost someone, but more of a reminder that if you were to dwell on the sad part, you’ll never remember the good parts. And in life, without immortality, that is one of the very few things we can do.

Don’t forget to SM:)LE today!


∞ sofieyah ∞


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