March #ReaLife 2015: Body Image & Love

If you read my February #RealTalk, then you would understand that this is kind of part two.

I’ve been called fat by my mother almost all my life and it took my friends to make me realize that I am not fat.

But so many people see body image as a way to understand or want to get close to a person. And yes, maybe there is some truth in it.

They say not to judge a book by it’s cover, or a person by his/her appearance, but it’s harder than said no? 

Even my boyfriend said that he first looked at me based on my looks before getting to know me. But, there is a big difference because the things he looked at wasn’t my body weight. And that is key.

When we look at love, we (as the female population) think that men look at if we are skinny, or if we are tall. But they definitely look beyond that.

They look at our smile, they look at our eyes, they look at our hair (yeah, it’s true so make sure you take care of your hair!!), and they look at our confidence.

Here’s a couple of things I learned through my boyfriend about this topic:

1. Once the guy gets to know the girl, he barely acknowledges her body weight as much.

A good example is that I hate being carried. I am not calling myself fat, but I am definitely chubby, and my boyfriend is almost like a stick. He literally is so thin that whenever he even makes a move to carry me, I scream and run off. When he does get the rare chance to carry me, I can feel his arm shake. But he never cared. He still attempts to carry me because he enjoys it (and he also enjoys watching me suffer…) and it made me realize that he still loves me, no matter how much I weigh.

2. Love should be greater than body weight.

I think this one is pretty self explanatory. But a good example is sex. This is a very personal subject, but let’s just say that I hate my naked body. I think it’s humiliating (I’m fine looking at it myself, but cannot stand others looking at it…) but he still loves it. Every part I dislike about my body, he loves. And it’s always so touching to know that he never really wants that to change.

3. If your man wants you to change your physical appearance, get out. Right now.

It’s not okay that he judges you by your appearance, no matter where you are in the relationship. If he still cares more about what you look like that who you are, then that’s the first sign to show that he isn’t worth the time, the investment, and the mentality.

I know that sounds mean, but it’s completely true. Do you really want to be in a relationship where he is constantly judging you based on what you look for?

This is an extremely touchy subject and I know I only grazed the skin on it, but a lot of what I say is true, in my very own experience. It takes true love to look beyond a person’s physical appearance.


Don’t forget to SM:)LE today!

xo 

∞ sofieyah ∞

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